Bad Influence

“Come on kiddo, lets go meet up with Mom.” I said, reaching a hand out to little Kenny. Who would have thought a day at the fair would be so exhausting. I felt like I could fall asleep where I stood. Kenny, as usual had a bottomless supply of energy like only small children possess. A day of eating funnel cakes and cotton candy probably didn’t help the situation.

He hollered, “Let’s get ice cream!” Bouncing and tugging my arm in the direction of the ice cream stand.

“No.” My own stomach turned at the thought of more junk. “You’ve had enough, and we told Mom we’d meet her outside the flower building now.” I resisted his pull and plowed onward.

“Billy wants ice cream!” Kenny insisted, trying to pull his hand away. When I tightened my grip, he began to whine and fuss. Looked like the long day was taking its toll after all. “There he goes. We have to follow Billy.” He pulled wildly on my arm; man he was strong for a little guy.

“I don’t care about Billy,” I said, and I didn’t. That imaginary friend of his was becoming an increasingly bad influence. He loved to encourage an awful lot of naughtiness. Too many carpet stains and broken knick-knacks were being blamed on Billy. I was in no mood. Time for a talk. I squatted down to look my son in the eye.

“Kenny, " I sighed, searching for the words to get through to him when I saw something over his shoulder that dropped any coherent ideas away. A green and yellow dragon the size of a German Shepard was bounding toward the ice cream stand. I couldn’t be seeing this. Squinting, I tried to get a clearer look; it must be a kid in a costume or something.

“Daddy, plleeease?” Another tug on my hand, and I blinked. When I looked again, it was gone. Definitely time to go.

I decided to let my wife drive home.

Rocket Launch - a mini memoir

Hovering nearby, I watched Daddy set my rocket on the plywood launchpad in the deserted schoolyard. Once ready, we ran to a safe distance.

"Three, two. . ."

The package said to use and 'A' engine, but Daddy said a 'D' would be better. He always said that.

"One. Blast off!"

He pressed the button and the rocket roared up trailing smoke. It climbed out of sight. Necks stretched upward, our eyes strained not to blink watching the bright sky. Then Daddy spotted the speck of the open parachute. We cheered, then anxiously watched where it fell. Not in the street this time; it landed on the school roof and I dashed off to find the janitor, again.
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The above photo is from the NASA website. It's the launch of Apollo 4 (not my toy rocket - in case there was any confusion.)

This is a little story I wrote many years ago, but I still like it. It makes me want to spend some time this summer building rockets with my girls and going to Grandpa's house to launch them.

The Best Star Wars Episode I Movie Review Ever!

This review of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace is actually more entertaining than the actual movie was. I'll warn you, it's long - over an hour, but broken up into smaller segments in case you don't want to watch all at once. But if you're like me, then once you start watching, you won't want to stop.

If you have ever wondered why Episode I was SO much worse than the original trilogy. If you couldn't quite put your finger on what went so very wrong, you'll enjoy this. The maker of these videos, Mike from Milwaukee, is very detailed, and very accurate in his amusing criticism.

As a writer, I enjoyed, and learned from his details about what was wrong with the characters, the pacing, and plot. His examples were excellent. I'd like to think I would never make such mistakes, but if George Lucas could do it, then little beginner me need to keep a close watch on myself. I know I'm going to look at the characters in my Work-In-Progress a little more closely now.

One last warning - these videos are not kid friendly. Not awful, but I'd say maybe PG-13 for the language and. . . well, I don't want to ruin some of the other stuff. Just review it before letting your kids watch.

Here's the first segment. You could search RedLetterMedia's youtube channel to find each segment (there are 7 total), but /Film is where I first watched these. They have them all in order already for you, with a little written commentary introducing each.

Enjoy.

Happy Towel Day

I have honored Towel Day in my heart for several years now, but this is the first year I will be officially celebrating. By that I mean, of course, keeping my towel with me all day.




Towel Day honors the memory of Douglas Adams, genius author, technology enthusiast, radical atheist, and passionate environmentalist. If, by some unfortunate circumstances of your life, you have not read any of Douglas Adams works, please go immediately and remedy the situation. This is 2011. No one should have to live like that.

Get A Grip

I was driving along, all stressed up as usual the other day, and read a bumper sticker on the car in front of me. Well, not a bumper sticker, but one of those metal frames that go around the license plate; I'm just not sure what they're called. Anyway, it said, "Get a grip: It's only a lane change."

Those words totally struck me.

I've been all worried about everything lately. Worried about getting healthy, looking for a new house, am I doing a good job with my kids, does my writing suck, am I getting the hang of the new office at work, do I keep my socks in the best spot, and so on ad nauseam.

What this license plate frame seemed to be saying to me was: Don't freak out about the big picture right now. Just get in the right lane. Simple. Do the simple, small things you know you need to do. That will take you where you need to go.

I started thinking about how the lane your in can take you someplace completely different than the lane right next to you, over a long enough distance. Roads are crazy things some times. It isn't always intuitive what lane will take you where you want to go. Some exits go one way, and others loop back on themselves to take you a different way. It may feel like you're headed in the wrong direction for your finial destination, but if you're in the right lane, you'll get turned and twisted around until you make it there in the end. To get where you want to go, you don't always have to make radical changes. Just make a lane change. Then keep going.

After I had all these deep thoughts, with "Life is a Highway" type metaphors running around in my head, one little part of may brain suggested that maybe it was only a snarky comment aimed at pushy drivers. I refuse to accept that though. It calmed me down so much, and made all my neurotic stresses feel suddenly so manageable. I have decided it was a very deep message only disguised as snark.

Isn't it cool when you stumble on something like that?

May Health Update

Frankly, I'm pretty depressed about my weight loss efforts. I thought I was sticking to the plan very well. Missing my calorie goals occasionally, but hitting it most of the time. Over 90% on target there. Keeping up my walks, and adding in at least 3 days of 1 hour sessions at the gym with weights and cardio.

Then I got on the scale. I lost a whopping 3/4 of a pound.

It's depressing.

I've also been measuring, because every weight loss expert I've ever read, or listened to, or heard about says to, but I don't know if I'm doing it right. Apparently I've lost about an inch and a half around my waist, and an inch from my hips. I'm just no confident I'm measuring in the right place, or even in the same place every time. It's a problem with a big tummy and no obvious waistline.

Regardless, all this work is supposed to be good for me, so I'll keep it up. I'm more exhausted than ever, but I do't know what else there is for me to do. I don't want to stay how I am. So. . . onward.

Comming Soon in Stories for Children Magazine

I have story scheduled to come out in the August/September Back to School issue of Stories for Children Magazine.

This may be a little early to announce it, but I'm just so jazzed to have something positive to write about. I can't help myself.

The website is pretty neat. I read a handful of the stories they have posted the by young authors, and plan to go back and read more. Some pretty cool stuff. Check it out.

On the Subject of Eggs

My cockatiel laid 5 eggs. They are super cute little things, but still, I hope she stops soon. She is not a young bird, and she will have nothing to do with the new cuttle bone we bought for her, so I'm concerned for her health.

The kiddos are bummed that we will not actually be expecting five baby cockatiels. We had an official 'birds and the bees' talk about it. Well, the bird part anyway. That, and a nice, illustrated book from the library that showed how chicken babies get inside chicken eggs has given my kids a nice grasp of avian reproduction.

While hard boiling our Easter eggs, I tried to hard boil the cockatiel eggs at the same time to preserve them. Three of the five cracked open. The shells were much thinner than chicken eggs, and I may have chalked the problem up to the thin shells alone, except that several of the chicken eggs also cracked open.

Now I'm no whiz chef, but making hard boiled eggs is about as complicated as boiling water. Yet I messed up a bunch of eggs. Anyone have thoughts on what I may have done wrong?

Again, my camera is not behaving well enough to get a good shot of the little eggs, so instead, here is an amazing shot my husband took of our cockatiel, Daisy: