In a Funk

It happens sometimes, right?
I'm feeling overwhelmed - with things that need doing, with problems that need solving, and that sort of thing. I'm also breaking my rule about avoiding news. It feels irresponsible to do so at the moment. Not only do I feel the need to pay attention, but to contact my representatives and tell my thoughts about it all. That's what good citizens do, right? It's stressful. There are people who enjoy this sort of thing. Nutty.

Looking at my calendar is depressing too. Well, everything we're doing is great, but there's just so much of it. Over scheduled. Overwhelmed.

So I'm not really writing much. Or sewing. Or feeling creative in any way.

I'm also having a lot of dreams. Science tells us that we're always having lots of dreams, so it would be more accurate to say I'm remembering my dreams more. Upsetting dreams. At least, upsetting in the moment. My dreams have always been weird. I've had friends tell me their dreams and they sound like normal days. I dream things like - Elvis and Kermit the Frog show up in my living room to give me advice on how to get the carolers off my lawn in the middle of the summer. (They thought I should turn the sprinklers on them). So if I try to explain my dreams to other people they sound silly. Yet in the dream, there is often intense emotion or an air of menace that is unsettling, and un-restful. Some of you will know what I'm talking about. Then that unsettled, un-rested feeling clings to me the rest of the day.

It all leaves me tired, and in no mood to create.

Then there's guilt because I'm not making progress on the quilt, or the novel, or the Friday Flash Fiction stories. That doesn't help settle me down. Plus, the creating is such a part of me - a satisfying essential part of me, I don't like the way I feel without it. Time to go into hermit mode for awhile and get my groove back.

To Fix or To File?

Earlier this year I actually finished the story I wrote about in the previous post. It's the story that got stuck in my brain after not writing for 25 years, and brought me back. Finishing is my biggest writing block, so this was huge for me. I think I'd tried, and started over with this story at least 4 or 5 times. Changing point of view, changing what characters are it it all together, changing tense, changing from a short story to a novel. Finally I just wanted the thing done. And now it is.

Or is it?

While it is done in the sense that I wrote it all the way through to the end, it is an unreadable mess right now. I decided to set it aside for a month before starting on draft #2, and fixing the problems I know about. Not really such a daunting thing. Big changes are needed, for plot points that changed a long the way, and need to be brought in line in the beginning, and things like that. I kept what I think are good notes along the way. So I think it's doable. But is it worth doing?

I'm happy I finished. I'm proud even. My dilemma is that I just don't know if I feel that even with all the repairs done, and polished up as best I can, that it'll be an interesting story. Honestly, if it isn't, it doesn't upset me like I thought it would. It was still a great experience, and I learned a lot. I think I'm a better writing now than when I began even the latest version. Looking at it as a very long, wandering writing lesson would be fine by me.

So I guess I wonder my writing time would be better spent writing something new than fixing up something that will then live quietly on my hard-drive. There are doubtlessly lessons to be learned in the revision process as well. There is learning to be found everywhere, after all.

I had decided to let the story sit for a month before starting on the revisions. It has now been 2 months, and I still haven't peeked back at it again. I'm leaning toward pulling it out in the new year, and seeing if the distance of time as really changed my view of things, like so many folks tell me it will. I suspect, I will try to fix it up, if only so I can feel more finished with it.

I'm curious about you other writers out there and how you handle your revisions. I've read blogs that advise sticking to Heinlein's rules, including "Never rewrite." Then there is the camp that believes "Writing is rewriting.". Where do you land on the revision/rewriting spectrum?

Cover of Darkness Jan 2012 Available

My short story, "In the Eye of the Beholder" is in the current edition of "Cover of Darkness" from Samsdot publishing. It's the story of a scientist studying alien creatures on their home planet, and discovering that they are not what they first appear.

I'm so looking forward to reading the other stories in the anthology.

I started to write this story for a writing exercise for an online critique group I belonged to at the time, but I couldn't get it to fit into the 400 word limit the exercise required. Instead of fighting the word count, I decided to skip the assignment that week and write the story the way I wanted it to be. This should be a reminder to me that they best way to increase my odds of getting my work published is to actually finish something and start submitting. Finishing is a weak area for me.

So anyway, go out there (or click over there) and get a copy. Then come tell me what you think of it! I don't see the ebook up yet, but will post about that when it shows up. 

Stuff

My buddy Amanda over at A Fortnight of Mustard nominated me for this Kreativ Blogger thing. Thanks Amanda! So what that apparently means is:

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

So, 7 interesting things about me. . . humm. . .

1. I'm a horrible packrat, but I hate clutter, so I'm always a little uncomfortable about the state of my house.
2. I cannot stop myself from putting two spaces after a period, no matter how many times I read/hear that one space is now the standard.
3. With my father's help, I once built a wheelchair for a cat.
4. I've been bitten by a cat, a dog, a finch, a monkey, a bat, a hamster, a rat, a budgie, a mouse, a snake, a vulture, a donkey, a macaw, a cockatiel, a pigeon, an iguana, a rabbit, and a gecko, but I still like animals.
5. I felt really, really bad when I saw that my last entry for this blog was in May. I've had about 50 great ideas for posts; why haven't I written any of them?
6. I'm in the middle of reading 3 books right now. No wonder it takes me so long to finish one!
7. I like these games, but I always kill them, 'cause I don't send them on to others. Sorry.